marriage, New Year's Resolutions, Relationships, self improvement, Uncategorized

About Last Night

Hi my Sweets. I hope this hump-day provides you a second wind that takes you right through the weekend. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your ability to be sweet. I know. I know. It’s just so tempting to give in sometimes, and I found myself caving in to negativity late last night. So about last night…here goes nothing!

I started using positive affirmations via text to my babe while he was at work during the evening. After having looked through various social media sites, I found a few ideas through Pinterest that I thought I could use. The pins offered good ideas, but I just tweaked the wording to fit my own personal relationship. Now please understand, I wasn’t  texting multiple texts back to back to spam my man. That is something that no one needs while they are at work, but I just dropped a nice text reply to one of his and later texted a sweet one of my own.

“I’m not the wait by my phone kind of girl..”

     I figured he’d call once he wasn’t too busy, but the call did not come in for quite a while. I’m not the wait by my phone kind of girl, so I jumped in the shower and took care of other things while leaving the phone charging in my bedroom. Sure enough, he called back when I couldn’t even hear the phone ring. It was almost two hours later when I finally checked my calls. Well, it looked like my positive affirmations worked, because I had a few missed calls.

What happened next really threw me off though. He totally gave me shit when I called him back. He said some things to imply that I had ignored his calls, or was prioritizing other things above him. What is it with his need to be attended to so quickly? That’s another blog altogether, lol. Well, here is where I fucked up. I got defensive and began reminding him of all the detailed things that needed to be done at home, which he apparently forgets about. Now I’m not saying this was right, but it’s exactly what I did:(

We went back and forth until we both realized the whole conversation was pointless and decided to mutually end the call. Now, this is an important one people. Please do not hang up the phone in a dramatic way. Just tell the person you don’t feel like you are getting anywhere in the conversation and you need to get off the phone. This is just a suggestion that I try to follow for myself. I expressed to him that because of the way he approached me  when I first called back, I already felt guarded and was having difficulty lowering my guard and just chatting. He did not seem to like it, but he was at work and also didn’t want to waste time on the phone arguing. He told me that he was just going to get off the phone with me for the night and that he wouldn’t be calling back. At the time, I thought this was best as there were things I needed to do as well before sleeping.

“It’s that moment where you no longer care about how offended, upset, hurt, ignored or frustrated you are.”

     After a few more hours past, while playing some nice music and catching up with my Instagram feed, I started to miss him. I felt bad about having been salty. This is something that I’m sure anyone in a relationship can relate to. It’s that moment where you no longer care about how offended, upset, hurt, ignored or frustrated you are. All you start thinking about is the other person, and it brings back those feelings of warmth, love, longing or even lust.

I didn’t want to bother him too much, but it was at a time of night where he usually takes a break and likes to chat with me on the phone to catch up on how the day was. You see, our schedules are very different sometimes. I decided to give it one more shot. This could either go really well or really wrong, depending on either one of us….but if you come from a genuinely sweet place, you might be surprised. I decided to be sweet no matter how he answered, if he answered. Thankfully, he was in an equally calm place and greeted me fully lovingly. His tone of voice was back to its “I’m a fine ass man, come love on me” kind of tone. That’s all I wanted, so my bedtime story was pretty damn sweet in the end. I’ll allow your imagination to write the last sentences of this one. Go on, have fun with it!

 

Until next time,

TherapyGen @SweetNotSalty

‘Cause if your love looks like hate, it could be a mistake!

 

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