Happy Fucking New Year and Better Me or Better You 2018!
Hi my loves. We made it! 2017 is behind us, and here we are. There already appears to be a shift. I mean, am I the only one that noticed that even Mariah Carey put last New Year’s dramatic halt to what would have been a beautiful performance behind her and decided to literally weather the ten degree temperatures to remind us that a hero really does live in each one of us. I mean, come on….”Hero” was my jam back in the 90’s. With the #metoo movements, controversial exchanges over the election of Donald Trump as president, women’s marches, tragic mass shootings, concert bombings, earthquakes and hurricanes with devastating losses, the first total solar eclipse visible to the U.S. since 1919, Lady Gaga’s tour cancellation due to Fibromyalgia, and so many other challenges or surprises of 2017, I am just grateful to say here we are 2018! Thank fucking you-Amen! Yes, both in the same sentence and no links in this post since we don’t really need to rehash the past:)
“Sweet Not Salty” is definitely part of a common theme running through the 2018 campaign of being the year to turn it all around for the better. Raise both hands if you feel me…Yasss! I want to start my first blog post of 2018 by really driving in a few key points under what I expect to be an amazingly transformational year.
- I will improve myself and my relationships by learning ways to be sweet and not salty (bae and kids included).
- I will use more positive psychology to accomplish these goals. I’ve psychoanalyzed enough already…time to put it into action.
- I welcome you, my sweets to try your own ways to self improve for you..not me, not everyone else, but just so you know you are improving in the ways you’d like to. You matter! You are worth it! You deserve it!
- To finally be the change I want to see in 2018 not just post about it! Happy New Year!
- Love, connect, transform, forgive and truly move forward.
Unblock Yo’self Before You Wreck Yo’self
I admit it. I blocked many people from accessing me for multiple reasons on various platforms. I even blocked family and so-called friends when it just felt like I needed to take time away from everyone else’s issues and focus on my own. This got so bad, that I hadn’t realized my own man was being blocked.
It started slowly, years ago. Somewhere along the way, I started losing respect for him. You see, when you are in a romantic relationship long enough, there can be a time or many, when all romance is gone. You can go through these weird phases of being lovers, then best friends, then roommates that are too busy for consistent loving intimacy (not just the physical kind), to near mortal enemies, back to companions, friends, and if you are lucky…the passionate love affair renews again. Now, I am not claiming this is the exact cycle a relationship goes through with your partner. It can include others or be in a totally different order. Some people become enemies quickly, while others may never get to that hostile of a point. What I am saying is that along the way, I built barriers rather than healthy boundaries. I lost the ability to be my best self with my partner. On the flip side, I realized where this came from…not why, who, what…but truly where inside of me this change occurred.
I failed to take better care of myself. I forgot about my needs as a priority. I stopped not only paying attention to but also giving myself what I so desperately needed. I can’t blame my partner, my family, my friends. I have to take accountability for having put myself on the back burner. Life became too busy, goals too important to achieve, reputation to protect, and pretty soon, I was taking very little time to even think in silence long enough to reach any true realization of my own inner desires. This is so much more common than we take credit for. Some may blame work, children, education, family, friends, lovers, but we are our own care takers. If we do a poor job, we suffer. If we do an amazing job, we feel self love…self respect.
How did I start my New Year’s day? I started it with checking in with my own inner voice. After spending a few weeks trying to make the holiday celebrations great, I just needed a break. I didn’t stop taking care of my daily responsibilities, but I did take time out for myself. I took time to meditate, to eat healthy, walk under today’s super moon, to write down my inner most desires in a notebook, to put on a charcoal face mask, and just put my legs up. It felt spectacular. I managed to fit time in for myself amongst the regular grind, and now here I am forgiving myself for posting this later than expected. I deserve what I gave myself to start my 2018 right. Then I realized, I started considering ways that this self-care was helping me actually give deep thought to ways I can unblock myself. I found that I had better start being sweeter to myself, because that’s what helped me start thinking of ways to be sweet not salty.
‘Cause if your love looks like hate, it could be a mistake!